Permission to Mother
If I could tell a fellow mommy one thing it would be that she has permission to mother her child(ren) the way she knows best. So often we get caught up in what other people think or in doing this mother thing perfectly that we forget we are called to be the mother to our kids.
Motherly intuition is regularly questioned, but it really is one of the greatest gifts and tools we have as mommies. It isn’t always right, like that time I was SURE my daughter had worms in her poop and needed to be seen ASAP. (Turns out that bananas can leave worm-like pieces in said poop.) But listening to our intuition can even be life-saving!
As mothers, we love our children so much that mothering them can feel like we are just asking for failure at every turn, or that we may somehow mess our kids up… forever!
We all lose our tempers, or, in hindsight, learn a different choice would have been better, but we learn, grow, and parent with the tools and insight we have now. We will make mistakes, but even that is a good lesson to our children.
I like to ask my mommy friends for their advice on many topics, but I always go back to what my gut is saying and what I think is right for my family. I have learned to give myself permission to mother my children!
What about the advice of well-meaning family and friends who may take it personally if you don’t follow it? Here are three things you can do:
- Politely listen to their advice. - Everyone wants to be heard. Acknowledging their advice lets them know you have heard them.
- Let them know you will consider their advice.- Telling them you will consider it allows you time to think on their advice. You never know, sometimes the advice of others is actually very good.
- Be confident knowing that you are THE mommy here.- You were given the gift of your child(ren). You are responsible for these gifts and ultimately get the final say. My husband and I are a team and make decisions together, but he always honors my motherly intuition.
If you haven't yet given yourself full permission to mother as you think is best, then don't wait to start! Maybe you need to go slow and enlist an encouraging friend to help keep you on track, or maybe you are ready to take the reigns immediately. As you go through your day making a million decisions for yourself and your family, remember that you have permission to mother. You make those decisions with confidence, momma! (And if you are in a place where you need help, guidance, or advice from others, I’m sure you will find, as I have, that you’ll get plenty if you ask- and then some!)
Special thanks to Natalie Sabransky for the use of her comic. More can be found at http://www.mamailustrada.com.